Into the Unknown
I can’t believe it has been 4 months since Hannah’s surgery. 4 months since we were impatiently waiting for surgery to be done, when thousands of prayers were being said for her surgery to be successful and without complications, 4 months since we made idle conversation while our hearts were left on the 18th floor where our girl was on the operating table. 4 months since her heart surgery was done beautifully and completely and without complications! Miracle!
Looking back over the last 10 months, the amount of worry, the heartbreak we felt leading up to September 4th, the uncertainty of our decision on which surgery…not a single bit of it was wasted, He used every ounce of it.
I looked back at pictures and they immediately took me back. Tears streamed down my face as I continued looking through them while looking over my phone at the same kid that is belting out “Into the Unknown”. The irony of that. I can’t believe the miracle dancing in front of me! I’m in awe of what He has done in and through her. We will continue to thank God for how great the surgery went, how quickly she healed from it, how she has bounced right back, for the army of people that came alongside us to help with the big girls, who lifted us in prayer, who brought food to our family (or me at the hospital), who sent messages, called or FaceTimed. There are utterly no words to convey our families gratitude, you were absolutely the hands and feet of Jesus not just this past September, but since we have had Hannah home…because every step has felt like a step into the unknown. Every step!
In the last year we have taken huge steps back when it comes to anything outside of our home. At first it was merely because we always hunker down after we adopt to let the girls find their footing within these four walls, to help them become secure in us and learn to trust us. Then it was because the sleep deprivation, which nearly took me down on multiple occasions. Its beyond hard to function on 2-4 broken hours of sleep, let alone manage a family of six…how was Hannah always so chipper in the mornings? We had high hopes the sleep would improve after surgery with improved heart function, but then it was her meds that were waking her up (face palm). We got cleared to drop that med three weeks ago. I can count on one hand the number of times she has woken up in the night over the last three weeks! Praise God! It has been a long sleepless 17 months and now I feel like we are alive again! Thank you for praying us through those long days, weeks and months. Sleep, my old friend, I have missed you so!!! I don’t think any of us realized just how thick the fog of exhaustion was. The girls can’t get over how happy and energetic I am now that we have returned to some normalcy.
Hannah just had a cardiology appointment last week, It continues to show that her heart is functioning as intended. We are continuing to monitor several of her valves, one in particular that has worsened significantly since surgery. We go back in March to check it again and the next course of action is to up her meds, and that would hopefully help with the regurgitation. If that doesn’t work, she will need to have it surgically repaired because she is still too small to have it replaced. We pray we are years away from any need for surgery…please pray that with us!
We are also praying for an uneventful 2020…and even though we have no clue what is next, we will continue to take steps into the unknown, because we know who goes before us!